Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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