there's paper in my vomit.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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