evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
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I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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