VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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