hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize