she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
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