she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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