So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
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I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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