Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
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My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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