we made out on top of his cat.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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