My first STD was from a foam party
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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