what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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