we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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