ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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