Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize