Pants 0. Shit 1.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize