we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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