jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
it hurts more in the daytime
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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