I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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