9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize