So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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