are you still at the devil's house?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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