I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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