So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
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I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
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And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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