Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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