Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
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she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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