Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
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Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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