i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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