I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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