Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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