yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize