I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize