Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize