I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
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