i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize