i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
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Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
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Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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