So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize