I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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