I haven't been this sober since birth.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize