Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
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There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
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Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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