I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
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