I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
This toilet bowl is my home.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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