who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize