and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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