ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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