(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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