hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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