Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
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When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
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While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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