she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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