I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
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My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
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He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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